Black out

Nessun’altra parola poteva rendere meglio ciò che mi stava succedendo:

– black-out.

Era come se degli interruttori dentro al mio cuore e soprattutto nella mia mente, si fossero spenti. Non sentivo più dolore e questo non era poi così male, ma allo stesso tempo io stavo scomparendo.

Mia madre mi portò ad un controllo ed il medico disse che la mia era “astenia”, un principio di depressione.

Mi fecero delle iniezioni di ricostituenti, mi diedero una dieta alimentare da seguire perché stavo perdendo visibilmente peso e, dopo mesi di cure, iniziai a sentirmi meglio.

Però gli interruttori rimasero ancora spenti.

Amavo scrivere, dipingere, cantare, ballare e dopo il black-out la mia mente aveva apparentemente cancellato queste mie attitudini. Ero diventata un’altra me.

Ma, esattamente, chi?


No other word could represent better what was happening to me:

Black out.

It seemed that some switches inside my heart and most of all in my mind were turned off. I didn’t feel the pain anymore and that was good but in the same time, I was disappearing.

My mother brought me to the doctor for a visit and he said it was “asthenia”.

They injected me some tonic and they give me a diet because I was visibly losing weight and after some moths, I began to feel better.

But switches were still turned off.

I loved writing, painting, singing, dancing and after that black out, my mind had apparently cancelled those attitudes. I became an other person.

But, exactly, who was I?

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